Becoming your Mum has really been a life changing experience. It has made me less selfish, more appreciative and so very, very tired. But becoming a Mum has also given me a very specific set of skills that I hadn't anticipated.
1. I have better hearing than Tonto. If I put my ear to the ground I can hear a baby stirring up to 12 miles away.
2. I can see the future. Not like the lottery numbers and stuff, but I can see a misplaced foot on a toy, a roll off of the sofa or a head bumped on the corner of a table all before it happens. Never long enough before to stop it happening though.
3. I have a sense of smell that even a police sniffer dog would be jealous of. I can smell a freshly pooped in nappy from two rooms away.
4. Much like Jasper in Twilight (sorry to anyone who hasn't seen the films) I can change the mood in a room. I can do this simply by singing 'Let it Go' at the tops of my lungs, turns even the grumpiest toddler into a ball of excitement.
5. I carry with me a bag that would turn Mary Poppins green with envy. I am constantly prepared for any eventuality. Be it a poop disaster, a snow storm in the middle of summer, a freak heat wave in December or even an outbreak of the plague. Im covered.
6. I am a lot more fun on a night out. I am much like a caged animal who has been released back into the wild.
7. I am fluent in both baby babble and toddler chatter.
8. My peripheral vision is borderline a superpower.
9. Peppa Pig would be my specialist subject on Mastermind.
10. I am the oracle for lost items. If you can't find something in our house, I WILL know where it is.
So I guess I should say thank you Pops, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have developed such a wonderfully strange skill set. I promise to only use my powers for good (well most of the time at least)
I love you Pops,
Mamma xxx
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